This week we trolled red carpets and parties probing celebrities with the following query: What Olympic event, real or imagined, would you most like to compete in?

Their answers were colorful (if not delusional), and include tidbits from Susan Sarandon, Zach Galifianakis, Calvin Klein, Audrey Gelman, a former Bachelor, the entire cast of Miss Advised, and many more. Click through for the slideshow.

Susan Sarandon and director Alison Klayman. (Andrew Toth/PatrickMcMullan.com)

New Yorkers who walked by the Pulitzer Fountain outside the Plaza Hotel last summer might have been familiar with the artist Ai Weiwei, or at least with his work. His large, striking bronze sculptures, an interpretation of the Chinese zodiac, were impossible to miss on the walk across town on 59th Street.

But what they may not have known was that the installation went on without the artist: he was missing, detained by the Chinese government, supposedly for tax evasion, after many his acts of protest against censorship.

Alison Klayman wants to fill in these gaps of knowledge. Her new documentary, Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry premiered last night at a Peggy Siegal Company screening at the Chelsea Clearview Cinema, hosted by Susan Sarandon, to a crowd mostly of New York City artists and film makers.

“I think whenever anyone sees censorship of any kind that the only way [censorship] can continue is if everyone is silent,” Ms. Sarandon told The Observer. “They used to say silence equals death.”

The documentary takes viewers through a tour of the artist’s personal life, explaining his artistic development and his use of Twitter to bring attention to injustices committed by Chinese authorities. Since his exhibit last summer, he was released from his detainment, only to be charged with a $2.4 million fee, levied against him because of his supposed tax evasion. Following the charge, he posted $1.3 million with Chinese tax authorities to contest the bill, but after being barred from his hearing in May, lost the appeal. Currently the artist is unable to leave China, but plans to continue fighting the charge by filing lawsuits in other courts.

“I really hoped that I would provide a good introduction for people who knew nothing, but also that it would be for the insider who already knew him really well,” Ms. Klayman told us.

Ms. Klayman told The Observer that during Ai Weiwei’s 2011 detainment she was nervous about what international support could do, fearful that it would only increase Chinese efforts to keep him under lock and key. But after his initial release, she was given hope. “I saw that building a support group for Ai Weiwei and all the international people he represents could be a good thing,” she told us.

The film closed with a suggestion to follow the film's Twitter account, to keep the conversation going. Meanwhile, attendees kept their conversations going, many about the film’s powerful message, at an after party at The Double Seven in the Meatpacking District.

Among those present were model Hailey Gates, filmmaker Alistair Banks Griffin, artist Dustin Yellin and actress Aleksa Palladino.

Stickers and cards of Ai Weiwei’s image were scattered on the tables, and many of the guests gathered in the small room told The Observer that they knew of Ai Weiwei’s work before the documentary but it opened up an entire new wealth of knowledge.

The executive producer of the film, Karl Katz, told us he hopes viewers get the message. “That’s the reason we invested a heck of a lot of time and effort, and of course money,” he told us.

Ms. Klayman, in a moment when she wasn’t being congratulated, told The Observer that everyone seemed to be positive about the film’s message. She was apprehensive before about the opening to the public on Friday.

“Are people really ready to hear about what Ai Weiwei does?” She asked. “I feel good about it now.”

Jeff Koons and Susan Sarandon

“I hate to see anyone suffering,” Michelle Harper told The Observer yesterday evening at the Wall Street Journal’s inaugural Donor of the Day gala. Collectively, the assembled crowd shared Ms. Harper’s sentiment, though each chose to express their benevolence in idiosyncratic and often personalized ways.

Ms. Harper, the sides of her petite head freshly buzzed for the occasion, explained that she promotes arts education, partly as function of her own upbringing. “I was always blessed to grow up around art,” she said, her bright lips pursed in thought (or pose, perhaps).

Jeff Koons, the evening’s host, explained his personal history with the International Center for Missing and Exploited Children. “In 1994 my son was abducted, a parental abduction, and through that experience I ended up always just kind of trusting that everything would work out. That the judiciary would return my son home. It never happened,” he shared. Mr. Koons was, of course, referring to the knock-down, drag-out court battle between his former wife, adult film star La Cicciolina, who fled to Italy with their son.

“I just realized that I couldn’t help my son but I wanted to try to help other children, and so I got involved,” said Mr. Koons, speaking softly as his heavily pregnant wife, Justine, looked on. Mr. Koons admitted that personal tragedies often color our charitable inclinations. “Some of that comes from what happens to you in your life and your own personal events,” he said. “But across the board people care about their families and they care about children… I think almost everybody in some manner probably tries to help the rights of children.”

For author, businesswoman and philanthropist Tina Santi Flaherty, however, animal welfare takes precedence. After donating $2 million for a rehabilitation and fitness facility at the Animal Medical Center (where pampered pooches can receive Reiki massages and enjoy a hydrotherapy tub with whirlpool jets), Ms. Flaherty was featured in the Wall Street Journal’s “Donor of the Day” column. Her particular fondness for animals, dogs in particular, is based on unconditional love. “It feels so good to give love,” she said, describing fondly how she frequently dances with her beloved curs. “That was an important lesson to learn. And I thought that maybe I was the only one in the world that ever discovered that, but then I read that Carl Jung, you know, J-U-N-G, said the same thing, that it’s more important to give love than it is to receive love,” she said. When we asked about her fur collar, she giggled. “Oh—this was a mean fox. It was eating chickens.”

Susan Sarandon entered, wearing last season's most coveted frock, a Stella McCartney mesh-polka-dot creation. The last time she wore the dress, she told photographers, she had won (or lost, rather) a magazine's "who wore it worst" vote.

Guests soon sat down and enjoyed spring vegetable tartlets as Michael Rooney, the Wall Street Journal’s Senior Vice President, praised the selected donors and the newspapers readership at large. Wall Street Journal readers, he proudly proclaimed, donated nearly $6 billion to charity last year alone.

Ernie Allen, CEO of the International Centre for Missing and Exploited Children, took the stage, lauding Mr. Koons as the “Andy Warhol of the 21st century.” As Mr. Allen spoke at length about the horrors of child abductions and juvenile pornography, several of our tablemates engaged in a lively discussion about Mr. Koon’s first wife. Bilateral hand gestures, indicating the international symbol for “large-breasted” were repeatedly used.

After roasted beef tenderloin, Brandi Carlile serenaded the assembled philanthropists.

Leaving the Whitney Museum, we noticed a placard had been placed by the entryway containing the full definition of philanthropy. “Goodwill to fellow members of the human race,” the entry began. Indeed, we exited full of goodwill and good food, hoping, however, the English lexicon would be updated so as to include Ms. Flaherty’s largesse toward quadrupedal community.

Cineaste Kellan Lutz (Getty Images)

The Tribeca Film Festival has announced its sizable jury in advance of the Festival's launch Wednesday--it's to be led by director Irwin Winkler (The Net). The numerous stars are to be split into panels judging six panels: Patricia Clarkson, critic Lisa Schwarzbaum, and Dakota Fanning are among those judging the World Narrative Competition, for instance. Kim Cattrall and Michael Moore are among the judges for the World Documentary Competitition, while Twilight's Kellan Lutz and Whoopi Goldberg are helping to judge the Best New Narrative Director Competition.

The jury prize for Best Jury, though, goes to Documentary and Student Short Films, which features Brett Ratner, Susan Sarandon, The Descendants's Shailene Woodley, and Justin Bieber's manager Scooter Braun. Oh, to be a fly on the wall!

Meryl Streep. (Getty Images)

This year's Tribeca Film Festival has announced its special events for this year's program. The events New Yorkers can catch are to include an April 22 interview between movie-industry stalwarts and prominent political commentators Michael Moore and Susan Sarandon--warning, first three rows may get politically awakened!

Jim Sheridan, director of In the Name of the Father and My Left Foot is to be interviewed by his screenwriter daughter Naomi Sheridan on April 28. As for special talks, classic thriller WarGames is to come with a post-show discussion with actress Ally Sheedy, director John Badham, and officials from BitCoin and the U.S. Air Force on April 28; the documentary Let Fury Have the Hour comes with a post-screening talk with artist Shepard Fairey and Eve Ensler among others on April 23.

Perhaps the biggest stars are to be in attendance on April 19 at a talk on Universal Studios' 100th anniversary--Robert DeNiro, Meryl Streep, and Judd Apatow will discuss their favorite major production company. The full Tribeca events slate--including the world premiere of Rob Lowe's political satire Knife Fight on April 25--is available here.